Iron ladies

Like an  overnight flood suddenly engulfing the home,like an earthquake striking unawares causing massive destruction, like an implosion downing skyscrapers in milliseconds,like an avalanche unleashing its fury of snow in a split second,like an IED bomb shattering the millions of hope unexpectedly,the road traffic accidents with its major casualties takes a toll in many lives in a millionth of a second...

As a human being living in earth,we all are susceptible to man made disasters and natural calamities.. Death can strike unawares at any time as the floods may engulf the people in their slumber.or it may be due to  hit and run vehicles by the spoilt brat of the affluent community...or may be a horrifying death in the eyes of the beholder before a terrorist... Whatever may be the cause of the death,the pain and the sufferings were unfathomable.... We all were witness to death of major unnikrishnan,encounter specialist kamke and the people of Mumbai and the victims of floods and innumerable deaths of our soldiers  in the border...we all felt sorry and paid only lip service for a moment and then forgot for the rest of the life. The sorrow and misery would stay close to the heart of the kith and kin of victim all through their lifetime....

In majority of cases ,be it in a war or an accident or a natural disaster,it is the male who touches the feet of God leaving his family in tatters...the female sex with a life span more than the male couterpart is at obvious risk of waging a solo war against the old age,added to this is the man made calamities and natural disasters,all leaving the fair sex to wage a lonely battle with her debilitated,frail and incapacitated figure due to her old age......., The loss of  the life of the husband  would leave his wife and children in shambles....A tiny tot laying a wreath of flowers and bouquet  on his father's coffin before the sobering eyes of his mother were one of the worst and terrible  scenes...

The death of a spouse,especially the husband, brings unforeseeable miseries to the wife.....till the death of the husband,the life of the wife swivels around her husband completely, totally oblivious of so many matters ....the news of the death would push them into a state of near emptiness...what lies ahead? What is in store ?how to lead a life with a broken heart  and a subtle mind with  two tiny tots?a sense of despair,nihilism ,suicidal intentions all flashing through the mind on and off...the inconsolable and irreparable loss of the loved one leaving behind two little  gems were nothing but a catastrophe in the life.

Her eyes  having dried up with the unending cries for her lost husband and for bubbling kids,just like adding salt to a wound,would come the voices of the hitherto unseen relatives...people come and go...piercing a red hot iron rod to the weeping wounds...the torrid phase would continue for some days and all would disappear leaving them all alone in despair...

It was similar to the victims of the flood .. All relief materials  with adequste manpower would pour down for two to three days...they  would say normalcy returned to city in just two days  totally disguising the real facts and all absconding from the scene,likewise everyone of the kith and kin would slowly vanish from the scene claiming normalcy leaving them in doldrums...

But  the real normalcy may take months to years for the victims...some of them may not even return to normal state......likewise the loss of a beloved one would take years and years for the bereaved to come through ..in some instances, the loss was a permanent scar and trying to get back to normal was only a wishful thinking...getting back to work from the catastrophe of the loss of husband for a wife would be  an insurmountable problem as for the totally destroyed victims of flood...

Just like the politicians making cacophony of voices about the relief measures,so do the relatives...but the real pain and suffering was  to the victim only...difficulties for the young widow may arise from all spheres of life..physically, mentally,socially,financially ,culturally,and also officially..
Every crooked mind would like to take advantage of the bereavement and it would become a fodder for the certain people to add spice to it...

Her family was a closeknit one...two lovely kids and an adorable husband..life was  moving thick and fast... All the world spun around him for her,not caring about anything except her husband,who took care about everything...he bought a land not a home,bought the equipments not an establishment..bought a car but not boarded yet,planned for a foreign trip but not booked the tickets.... All were waiting to be unfurled...so many dreams in her life...,rearing two children to rosy heights,building a castle and lots of dreams...
he was busy day and night...wasting no time in minting money for a fairy life for the future,ignoring the present...all were shaken and came as a  bolt from the blue with the sudden demise of her husband in an accident, he booked his ticket to Almighty leaving his near and dear ones in doldrums and they could built castles only  in the air...

Life turned topsy turvy in a moment..all her dreams had been shattered...the world which was at her hand few moments ago seemed too far away..now she stood all alone ....there was no helping hands and soothing words. No shoulders for her to lean over her worries...although it would not be difficult to meet both ends,definitely it was going to be difficult to cater to all their children's needs....till now money was not a problem for her ...but with her husband and his income gone,she would have to curtail all the extravaganza and excesses  and profligacy in her life...

Having lived under the protective shells of her parents and then her husband all through her life,she was pushed to the brink by the sudden demise...there was no disaster management training as they have in floods..even that did not work..there would be a contingency fund and disaster committee ..but how about the life?does anyone teach how to cope with a loss of that magnititude?does anyone have to undergo and prepare for the worst?when one of the two intertwined bodies and souls being snatched unceremoniously by the nature,the other soul too become detached completely and it would  take time to come back to reality...

She was standing all alone in her home looking at the gloomy sky...her life also looked like that sky...dark and gloomy...tears flowed through the cheek forming a small pool of water ,...soft tender hands of her children with water splashing out due to their little legs on the stormy cries, slowly wiped her tears and  yet the  tears from all  started drenching all their souls..ma...please don't cry.... We would be with you all through the life,cried the little souls.....she felt rejuvenated....then she decided not to cry before her children...she decided to live the life for those wonderful kids...tiny buds which are yet to bloom...didn't want to nip those in the budding stage....

She started recuperating slowly but steadily with an iron heart...what a blow to her..she had to bring those kids all alone in this male dominated society...she can't depend on anyone...she did all the chores both inside and outside the house...having settled in a place far away from her native, she wanted to move away from the place which took her heart and soul....she strived hard to move out from that place and  came back to her native place....the mercy plea ,the political influence and all others could not fetch what she wanted...money...money...which only helped her to get what she wanted...no one could see and hear the whims and cries in her nights...all her cries in the nights made her strong and resolute and able to  fight till the next night...

Humanity and altruism have become  the precious commodity nowadays.. Both are Slowly disappearing from the dictionary of the mankind....people try to loot and swindle the money from the impoverished,depleted and distressed people....when people were in distress,now the hands are coming out to click photos only...and not helping the needy...she has to survive in such a scenario..with steely mind and resolve,she was able to fight through the life...

Having come to her native place and rented a house...what an irony...her own house was rented for someone and she has to rent a house for their accommodation....got admitted her children to a nearby school....she took care of both the home and office meticulously....

Marriage is an institution where both the wife and husband are like the two wheels of a truck...cant imagine riding a vehicle with one wheel ..bearing the weights of the whole truck on the sagging shoulders is like flogging a tired horse...but somehow she overcame all the difficult terrains to ride smoothly to take to a safe destination....
Husband and wife are like bow and string of an arrow...one has to yield when other stretches... Now,for her,yielding and stretching has to be from one side only...
We all need someone to show our emotions,  frustrations,happiness ,difficulties and tribulations ....certain things could be shared only with the spouse...she had no one to share her pressures in the working station,no one to confide in certain personal moments,not able to come out when her children did something wrong....all the feelings were pent upped and would show off as a burst of tears.. She can't shout or scold the kids as there was no other support to glide them smoothly...

Having been an extrovert all through her life and a  freely talking and a carefree bird,her wings had been clipped too early in the prime of her  life  with the loss of her husband...being born with a silver spoon and  being pampered all through her life,this shock was too much for her to digest ...she was the toast of the college as she was exemplary in both academics and extracurricular activities..she was joyful and playful and was full of energy...being married to a supportive husband,her joyfulness and playfulness jumped manifold  even after marriage...he thought her as his eider  daughter and showered love on her to the  core...
With everything gone now,she became reclusive,reticent and withdrawn...
She was too careful in her attire,in her speech,in her behaviour so as to not attract any attention...she ditched all public appearance, forgotten about the smile,failed to make it to any function,kept  a very low profile...

Her relatives and well wishers strived hard to convince her for remarriage...she was defiant to the core and even abhorred that word.. She continued her journey with the single determination of making her daughters successful in their  life wearing an iron vest that was impregnable......she sacrificed her practice to concentrate on her kids education...she jostled back and forth regularly in taking the kids to school and classes...she left no stone unturned in giving them all they needed..she never allowed them to think once...had my father been there,i would have got this...she took such utmost care in every aspect of their lives...allowed them to participate in all activities in their school and outside...

Having known all the difficulties and sacrifices their mother made,both the kids stood to their task and excelled in their studies...they came out with flying colours and got admitted to the professional  courses...

They excelled in the college too and her mother was too happy...all her struggles had paid off when both had got nice placement....she continued her tireless work ...happy to saw them in that situation....both got married to a decent family and both of them got settled and they too had children....

Now she was again all alone...she thanked the Almighty for being with her all through the struggles...she stood in her house...looking at the sky...which was as usual dark and gloomy,thinking of her husband which was her routine all through these days....tears flowed through the cheek forming a small pool of water..soft tender hands of her grand children with water splashing out due to their little legs from the stormy tears, slowly wiped her tears....ma...please don't cry...we would be with you ...and she felt rejuvenated again...

Why I like stan wawrinka...

I like stan wawrinka since he defeated Novak Djokovic not once but twice so recently,the man who was the tormentor of my favourite sportsperson of all times,Rafael Nadal...

Tennis has been a rich men sport,not like the poor man's hobby cricket...how was I addicted to tennis...Really I don't know...Having born to a middle class family,getting an access to tennis bat itself was difficult...searching for tennis courts was a Herculean task...Although I played only cricket,my interest to tennis knew no bounds...I hardly touched a tennis bat,but wasted  millionths of time watching tennis...

In my school days,the TV and telephone was a rare commodity...In my whole street,there was only one TV,the proud owner  was an Engineer,a kannadiga,who was only having a TV...Every Wednesday and Friday ,people from all ages throng to that house to have a glimpse of chitrahar and chitramala....There would be such a huge chunk of people that there would be no place for us to sit...I and my friends had peeped through the windows to watch those programmes...That engineer family was so genial and caring and they allowed us to enjoy the classical songs and sports.. ...Also,I started reading the sportspage of  The Hindu from his house only..Since he woke up late in the morning after watching TV late  into the night,I had an opportunity to scurry through his newspaper before he woke up....That man brought me into two beautiful things in my life. -tennis and newspapers...

That engineer was an avid tennis fan...whenever  I find time,I go to his house...one day  he was watching tennis...I too sit beside him and started watching... I think it was Wimbledon final in 1987...it was a match between kevin curren and a young gun Boris Becker... that was my first blush with tennis and it started growing thereafter...Although I supported kevin Curren,it was Becker who stole the limelight that day and he ruled the Wimbledon for the next six to seven years

Then  came my real first time favourite..the soft spoken,genial, humble,swedish player Stefan Edberg...He and becker ruled the Wimbledon for the next five years with  Edberg claiming two trophies and Becker three...

Sportsperson generally  will have a shorter  stint as a superstar...they have to make use of it..Make the hay while the sun shines holds true for the sportsperson...Tennis stars usually starts peaking in early twenties and usually falters out in early thirties...

Tennis is a Gentlemen's and ladies games still unsullied by scandals and kickbacks...Cricket lost its reputation by match fixing and  atheletics with its doping scandals and football,of late, was marred by corruption..Sepp Blatter, the FIFA head,stepped  down due to the allotment of rights to Russia and Qatar...but tennis stands crystal clear among all sports...

With Edberg losing his volleys regularly and the power packed performance of Ivansevic Starc,Sampras ,Agassi, Jim Courier ruling the roost,I started to dislike more players than liking it...since most of them started beating my favourite....

Then came  nadal from nowhere...how I fell into his trap..how I started loving him more than any other sportsperson...He is more of a base liner, sports a macho body,a powerful play,all contrasts to the gentle serve and volley  of my other idol,Stefan Edberg...

Nadal started showing his prowess in the red clay courts so early in his carrer...he won his first French open at the age of 19  and went on to win nine titles from 2005 to 2014...his only loss before this year's loss to Djokovic was to Robin soderling in 2009..his record in french open is 70 wins to two losses...no player has ever dominated any event like him before...Also his dominance in the events prior to French open was astonishing...

Tennis has a beautiful chronology of events in a year...Starting from the hard court of Australian open to the red clay of french open to the grass court of Wimbledon into the final slam of US open,there were multiple ATP 1000,500,250 events  culminating in the ATP world tour finals at the OZ arena in the London(a beautiful and mesmerising court in the nights)..murali..you should go and enjoy that chilling atmosphere...
Nadal has won all the four slams(the Grand slam carrer winner along with the Federer) and multiple ATP tour events and has won Olympic gold and Davis cup to his boot..he has won 14 Grand slams(only Federer is above with 17).27 masters 1000(a world record)&47 clay court titles (only Guillemoro Villas with 49 titles is above him)...
the one major thing thst Is missing in his repertoire is the ATP world tour finals trophy...
 
Such was his dominance in tennis during 2008 to 2013...that he was world number 1 for record number of weeks....His dominance in tennis is being shattered by his rival Novak Djokovic very easily nowadays...he lost to Djokovic in the last six meetings,that too,even in his favourite red clay surface... he is being rightly called as "king of clay" since he ruled the red clay courts for almost a decade...such was his  ruthless
dominance in clay courts which is slowly cracking of late...he was beaten by even lesser ranked players,all that is now possible due to Djokovic...
Djokovic broke through the impregnable walls of nadal's fortress by breaking him physically mentally and psychologically which paved way for lesser ranked players to have a look at nadal's dominance...

Nadal  even adapted his game to the fast grass courts and synthetic courts  to win Wimbledon and US open twice...he is so agile in the court,has an excellent all court coverage, a deadly forehand with a topspin that is  virtually unplayable...his other weapon is the return of serve...all of these are coming under tremendous pressure from the players...it was Djokovic who first countered nadal with his crosscourt bachhand and made him vulnerable and made to believe he is also human....now with his long history of injury and persistent layoffs and no grandslam and major victories in the last year ,the first time in his career he has fallen to 10th rank ...

when things go berserk,we look for excuses and try to point fingers at someone...In tennis,when you lose,the coach would be made a scapegoat and ousted...All top stars like Djokovic,Federer&Murray had problems and sacked their coach snd appointed Becker,Edberg &Lendl respectively,all superstars of yesteryears...but Nadal sticked to his own coach in all difficult situations...

Nadal is being trained by his uncle,Tony,ever since he picked him as a  five year old kid...thereafter it was his maternal uncle Tony who catapulted him to huge success...when success was denied to him,he didn't ditch Tony..he was such a family man that he never forgot the past...he took defeat in his stride and took up his own responsibility...that mode him a huge icon of stature....he  respects his racquet and he has never thrown his racquet in disgust when he missed a point which was a normal thing with many players...

Nadal is not a perfect man..I picked his perfect qualities...he is so superstitious and he takes undue time during changeovers...he was faulted so many times for undue slowness in the court...Tennis is a funny game...a player can decide or reject his referee...when a referee faulted him twice for his undue slowness in the court,he made that referee not to officiate any further match of his...

Nadal,the man with an indomitable spirit, has been showing cracks in his fighting spirit...the man who ruled the tennis world seems to be faltering thanks to Djokovic and his likes...he is a fighter...his never say die approach is a lesson for any youngster..also he accepts defeat in a magnanimous manner...Life is not a bed of roses...it has its intricate thorns intertwined  into it...Life is a wheel which spins continuously which will have its ups and downs and so is sports...

A famous journalist once compared the life of a sportsperson to an inverted bell shape...there will be a slow progression to the peak of one's carrer end the peak would be there for a while and starts rapid deceleration..Any top player should gracefully relinquish his carrer before he would be unceremoniously thrown on to a scrapheap in a rapidly decelerating career...

when he was asked about his successive defeats,Nadal retorted,there's life beyond tennis...defeat is not the end of life...there are so many things ...rest for a while...and start practising hard for the rest of the season...the spirit in sport is not getting bogged down by successive defeats...

Nadal lost only twice in the slow red clay court of french open,the first time in 2009 ,he rose like a phoenix and won consecutive four french open and innumerable titles...this year,having lost to Djokovic in quarters,will he able to rise again and quell the threats of Djokovic and likes? A huge question mark looms over the tennis fans,especially  among die hard nadal fans like me...everyone is waiting for a turnaround performance from him...

I like stan wawrinka since he defeated Novak Djokovic not once but twice so recently.the man who was the tormentor of my favourite sportsperson of all times,Rafael Nadal...

Travel Diaries::My first blush with snow

Travel,the word itself conjures up beautiful thoughts and mesmerising memories of life..Life would become a dull and drab and a null and void story if you don't sojourn frequently...The travel invigorates us back to real life and puts back to  the monotony of our work with a new vigour...Travel allows us to see beautiful places ,mixes with wonderful people and allows us  to learn about various cultures ...Travel rejuvenates us to a new life...

Travel,in all forms of life,starts from mothers womb through to the life's trials and tribulations till the last journey to the eternal peace...In between the two extremes,either we take a joyous ride or the life takes us for a ride....whatever may be the case ,enough the ride of life....

We hardly travelled during our school days...those early days travelling wasn't a commodity  either because we were blissfully unaware of it or our parents were not exposed to that culture ....the true mentors of our very existence hardly travelled those days.. those days their hard earned money could help only to meet the both ends...they toiled and toiled
hard and burnt the midnight oil to see our phenomenal growth and development... During our school days ,the summer vacation could take us to our near and dear one's house ....we hardly contemplated more than a cricket bat those days in our summer vacation....

Travel is now a quintessential norm of life...A sine qua nun without which many lives would be bored to death....During our school vacation,we could hardly ask our parents about any trip...now our kids burgeoning demands helps us to discover more and more places...our parents financial constraints curbed our natural instincts...With our improving financial conditions,thanks to our parents visionary and single minded determination in making us successful in our carrer,we are set to explore more and more places and could dance to our kids tunes..I thank all our parents who made us successful in our lives....

I started travelling during my 12th leave...that was the first real trip ...thereafter the sojourn started during college days and the search for new places infuses and injects fresh blood into my life...

Last year when venki & cusp posted photos of snow clad mountains and beautiful tulips and green meadows of the pristine kashmir,we decided to make it to kashmir one day...when venki boasted pictures of snowy pictures  and proudly exclaimed about snow....Came the comment from viji that we live mostly in snow and you people go that long to see the snow ...Now I proudly say that we are going to kashmir to see only two things -snow and tulips..We,residing  here in hot and humid conditions,could only dream of snow but couldn't enjoy it...

Karthi and jayendran wanted to join us for kashmir but the dates we planned doesn't suit them ...they wanted the trip by may last but the lasting beauty of ephemeral tulips would be lost by then and the  summer would turn  the snowy kashmir into a breezy one....we didn't jettison the plan and proceeded with our plan to go to  kashmir by April second week which was the peak season to enjoy snow and tulips...I felt sorry for karthi and jayendran and prayed for the better times when they plan .....

Any new idea or venture would be beset with problems on starting and proceeding as our bikomaniacs had cyclone nilofar looming large when they planned...we also had floodomaniacs and terrorist strikes.
Beauty begets problems and so the kashmir with its exquisite beauty has also been long troubled by natural calamities and manmade miseries ....Everyone started questioning our rationale behind choosing kashmir ...some of which may be true ...some are exaggerating and some are unfounded for but we are determined and steadfast in going to kashmir this summer...

The D day arrived  and we packed off to srinagar .....when we were about to alight in srinagar,The paradise in heaven ,I and vani were asked to take the front door and my son  mom and motherinlaw were asked to alight from the back door...To our dismay,we were taken through the aero bridge while the other three were missing...After few tense moments and searching in vain,I found them and we all proceeded with high spirits to the exit area where our local tour guide holding a placard welcoming us to the paradise in heaven....

We asked him to straight away head to Tulip gardens....Every year the local minster would declare open the tulip gardens by first week of April and it would be open for one month.... A drive from srinagar airport to Tulip garden was studded with plethora of army jawans every 50 mts...and we felt rather bizarre about heavy deployment of police personnel...

On entering the Tulip gardens,our bleary eyes from a day long journey beamed with delight and awe...Flowers of varied hue and colours turned the garden into a paradise...the tulip flowers were planted neatly in a row wise phase....red blue black yellow orange and mixed colours of flowers bloomed majestically turning the garden into a flowering paradise....those flowers resembled like tiny tots standing  in a queue in the school with colourful dresses.. the swaying of the flowers to the light breeze looks as if those tiny tots singing and dancing to the ethereal tunes .....we have to leave this phenomenal garden as time started ticking in fast and we were lagging  far behind our schedule...

From the tulip garden,we entered the serene Dal lake in  the traditional shikara boat in the chilling atmosphere...there a different world exists on its own...On the one side of the lake,away from the hustle bustle of the city lies the solitude cool clear freezing  water....going to the other side of the lake was the bustling commercial market in free floating water...one can buy all sorts of kashmiri things  at a bargaining price....the night passed off in the boat in the chilling atmosphere....The next morning we woke up to a new horizon...school kids rowing the boat themselves to the school like our kids pedalling a cycle to the school...Ladies and old women rowing to buy things  and there exists a different world...

Next we set up our destiny with sonamarg..
it's about 80 kms fron srinagar.while on the way we went for snacks at a punjabi sindh dhabha...the place was astonishing for a snack...the chairs were set in the background of  the sindh river roaring vociferously ...the sound of water in full swing against the snow clad mountains in an aloof environment was nerve wracking...we had a cup of tea and muttered a beautiful old song...
        sindhu nathi karayaromm ...
...      anthi neram ...en devan patinan ...tamil geetham pattinan ....ennai poovai pola chootinsn......

We started moving towards sonamarg with the sindh river giving us a great company all through the sonamarg...About 15 kms before sonamarg, came our first blush with snow ...the snow started drooling all the way into the road from the top of the mountains ...we stopped...touched...stood ..danced and tried to climb on the snow...our enthusiasm knew no bounds as we clicked numerous photos on this little snow ...not knowing this is only the tip of iceberg....our driver became restless and prodded us  into the car...still further down ,we were completely engulfed by the snow...the road we travelled was only bereft of the snow ...on either side of the road it was snow..even in certain areas the road has to be cleared of snow by the big bulldozers ....
we went to the resort in sonamarg which was bathing in full snow...we walked through the snow to check in...The manager was surprised as we were the first guests to stay in that resort this season...he said there was no current and no phone connection for the last three months due to heavy snow ...we would switch on the generator  during night at about 8pm..

.we left the resort for sight seeing...here our local guide gave all of  us the winter clothes and we embarked on a sojourn to snow...we saw zero bridge,mandakini point  and iceland retreat and tejiwas glacier through the ice sledger...there was snow everywhere..all around you ...and we all played like children....the guide was also a guardian .a wellwisher and an unpaid willing
photographer for all our gestures...we stayed  huddling  in the ice cold condition right through the night....

Next morning we set out on our next vintage point of Gulmarg...we were received in the base camp by our next guide...A skinny ,bearded with hoarse voice shouting in a high pitch with an untidy dress and in shambles was our guide...his looks itself frightened all of us and we were left with Hobson's choice of following him...
The only positive point was he was very conversant with English  and I could directly take control of things myself...Till then I was dependent on vani for her fluency in hindi as no other person till then could speak English...The looks doesn't bode a real face  of a persons character was  evident as time passed on...He was so caring and took us directly to Gondala ride ...the trademark of Gulmarg..

The road to our  resort was as usual full of snow and we checked in against the fully snow clad mountains and we could see our  resort  being fully engulfed by snow...After checking in quickly we prepared for the gondala ride with usual winter clothes like gum boots ,sweaters,jerkins, wollen socks ,gloves &goggles...
There are two stages  in gondala ride...the first one takes to a level of 10000 feet above the MSL and there are host of activities like ice skiing,sledging ,ice cycling and ice scooter....the second stage of gondala ride takes  further to 14000 feet above MSL Where there will be less oxygen but still more ice...

We skipped second stage due to health condition of my mom and decided to enjoy the ride in first stage itself...I vani and gowtham decided to go for ice cycling...Ice cycling allows us to ride  for about 8kms through 7 foot ice from the first level of gondala ride of about 10000 feet above MSL right to the base....A thrilling and fantastic ride through the icy mountains in the ice cycle got vani nosediving somersaulting twice and  got my son vomiting....After these minor hiccups and a bit of persuasion,we successfully made to the base level...
.After the adventurous ride ,we set for a walk the talk with that guide....but he was so compassionate and intellectual and I learned a lot with his talk...

He goaded us to the gondala ride when we were relaxing a bit... He said..Now the climate is fantastic...hurry fast...The three things you can't control and changes in a splash second are...
        kashmirka moosum ... mumbaika fashion&beevika mood.....
       you have to make use of it  and enjoy it before it changes ....how much true it is?

Also,he went on to say..India is a beautiful country...safest place to travel and  having a rich  culture...but three things  which plague India  are politics,defence and media...well said ....

After an adventurous ride in gulmarg,we went to pahalgam...The ride from gulmarg to pahalgam was stupendous...Tall  verdant green trees on either side of the road forming a green tunnel where we slithered through  was fantastic....A bunch of yellow flowers blooming  all  over a vast surface of lands gives an exquisite look to the varied landscape ....moreover the liddle river lithing through the roads with constant downpour of rains gave us a great company all through the road until we reached pahalgam...In between the apple orchards blooming with white flowers and mulberry trees booming across the roads forming a green canopy over the sky adds a rich look...

We reached pahalgam and is famous for pony ride ...Each one of us took a pony for another tumultuous ride of 7kms through the difficult terrains of deep valleys and scenic waterfalls .....there were six scenic spots and the best one was banasuran valley...it is otherwise called as mini Switzerland ...True to that adage , the banasuran valley looks fantastic with tall trees snd flush green meadows  against the backdrop of the snow clad mountains. ...zorbing game was very popular out there... After a pony ride for about three and half hours,we felt very happy and relieved and took a nice rest that night....

The final day of our trip was a bit sedate with a trip to various moghul gardens in and around kashmir...one famous spot is a perennial spring at the chechashamayee garden whose spiritual water seemed to  have healed the troubled shoulders of Nehru & indira Gandhi....water from the spring is still having a sweet taste and we too  tasted it hoping against hope of healing all the wounds....

Finally ...a food for thought...this travel diary would be hugely misleading if I finish off without a tribute to kashmirI people..Contrary to all our beliefs, the kashmiri people are wonderful,nature loving,mostly impoverished,well behaved and mostly 85 percent of people are dependent on tourism for their very survival...
Every money we spent there could go on to feed so many lives and you feel so happy and contented that you have brought so many smiles and cheers into the lives of the kashmiri people....
Every activity you take would drain your purse and everywhere people will beseech you for tips and they would take utmost care and die for it to make you feel  very happy and satisfied that you won't feel having doled out so many money on them...

what the media projects about kashmir is exactly opposite to what I have observed...
Finally,I request all of our friends who make foreign trips regularly do visit India atleast once and explore and discover India which has myriad and vast culture and heritage and spend rupees on our poor Indians rather than spending and pumping  lavishly in dollars... 

       Jai India...discover India....

my first blush with snow

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An unsung hero

  February 20th, the unforgettable day...

This day , February 20th , 2010, I had given spinal for LSCS and my wife was operating and the baby was just delivered ..my cell was ringing and before I could attend the call, it ended. ..I looked at the missed call list ...it was chandrasekar. I was shrouded in mystery. ...it was an unusual call from him at the unusual time. .he has not been in touch with me of late. ..no common interest to talk about that time ...one striking feature was he and kanagu were working in the same station ..has something happened  to kanagu?  no .no. not possible ..I pacified myself. .those days he was having terrible time...He had mild head injury few months back and was returning to normal...had anaesthesia related complications in two to three cases. ..he even told me that he would quit his practice in thiruppur and contemplating about moving  over to Coimbatore. ..I advised him not to take any drastic decision for  such trivial things. ..

   I called chandru again and again. ..the line was busy..I was getting more and more perplexed. .I was waiting for his call with bated breath ..has something quirky happened to kanagu? At last I got a call from chandru. ..dei kathir ..where are you?  come immediately to thiruppur GH  kanagu met with a major accident. I asked him. .was he alive?  how was he?  He retorted..I cant say anything now. ..it was a major accident...come swiftly to GH..l  guessed something fishy has happened. .he was hiding the facts. ..I told him that I was about to finish a case in kunnathur, which was only  sbout 30 minutes drive to that spot,  and would straight away head to the accident spot. ..

I took my car and we started towards the spot .. my wife could sense the unrest in me as I was blabbering and my hands were trembling. ..so many thoughts were clobbering my head. ..she decided it's dangerous to let me drive in that state and he requested her relative to drive us to that spot and he obliged ..

when we reached the spot, there were many people who were having a despondent look at the car. .The car was totally mangled. just then kanagu had been retrieved in a painstaking manner by breaking the windshields of the car and was scurried to thiruppur in the ambulance. ..when I asked them..the response was that he was  no more. ..l was totally shattered. .. .from there we went to thiruppur GH. ..and by the time we reached there , he was shifted to mortuary. ..
I went to mortuary. .kanagu's face is still fresh in my memory. his face was totally deformed . mangled and bloated ..there might be multiple facial fractures. ..I broke down instantaneously on seeing kanagu. .there was a huge rush to see him in the mortuary as he was known to all and sundry in thiruppur GH. ..I was literally pushed to the floor by the people flocking to see him. ..

l went to casualty where I could see sivagami in the dead end corner of the room with tears overflowing. ..on seeing me she couldn't control her emotions and cried inconsolably. .what words would console her?  an irreparable loss. .what words would console her?  I could not utter a word. ..I let all her tears go dry. .the moment I thought she was recuperating , one more person would come and all again she would burst into tears ...we could  just cast a  sombre look as the events unfurled before us..

There was total chaos in the casualty. .total disbelief. ..the doctor who was one among them till the last moment was no more, came in as a rude shock. .things were  looking haphazard...chandru helped in getting PM done as the inquest was received only after 5pm. .he set the things right ..a cool head in a tense situation. ..after PM,  his body was taken to paramatti velur and the last rites were done late that night  ....

Two persons have changed my life forever. one was my dad and the other one was kanagu. sorry if anyone feels I am exaggerating. you will come to know of it only at the fag end of the story. ..

I go right up to the first year. .As usual there were two  groups. .one hostellers and the other day   schoolers. ..kanagu would not fit in either group. .we, the hostellers, used to come in groups ...kanagu was a man different from others. .he would not mingle with hostellers much..he would woke up early ... waited for none...off to college in 10 minutes before we realise ..such was his alacrity those days..

I still remember vividly that a tall lanky guy strolling with the short stumpy staid through the main gate of our college when we found ourselves seated to   that verandah adjacent   to the lecture hall. ..that place was permanently etched in our memory. .the place where we were ragged , laughed, teased, parked, played, sighted and did all the nasty things over the two long footsteps , the central car parking area and the two seating safe havens. ..the two guys I was mentioning were karthi and our hero kanagu. ..those days he would care a jot for us and straight away head to the girls section.  we were happy those days to have got a feeder to tease him. ..

Those days itself, kanagu toiled as a man possessed for studies ..he didn't join for late night chats, was a tee totaller and had excellent rapport with seniors &lecturers and  was very studious and workaholic ...he was very agile and nimble footed...I wasn't
so close to him those days. . I just would have a customary smile and talk to him those early days ...ck and magesh would be able to threw more light on his UG life. ...

Our intimacy grew by leaps and bounds only after our marriages ...both of us were married off in erode. ..Our spouses were both from erode. ..got married at about the same time. .had kids at about the same time. .joined service at about the same time. .and both of us were selected for anaesthesia in the same time  and we joined MMC at the same time...

I took the rented home in chennai and took my wife with me as she was doing DNB. ..kanagu joined MMC HOSTEL as sivagami was working in PHC in erode district. ..the ordeal began for him there...

Married hardly for a year , he left his wife and daughter to pursue his higher studies ..
We all read , passed MBBS,didn't have any huge ambition in the life. ..took the life in its own stride. ..but here itself kanagu was different. .As I told earlier , he worked like the man with tonnes of hope and he duly and diligently worked towards attaining that goal. ..I was  a witness to it in the PG period. I appreciated his perseverance and hard work and mostly stunned by his humility. ..

. ...I used to go to his room almost daily. ..I always found him glued to his chair, deeply engrossed in his books and only occasionally to be perturbed by MMS videos shown by his UG room mates ...those days we poor service PGs had old brick and mortar cell phones while the affluent UG MMC ians would have smart fancy phones which was only compatible  for videos ...that was the only recreation for kanagu those days...

I passed anaesthesia only under his aegis ...Day in and day out, I went to his room, studied under his guidance., had a sumptuous meal in the MMC canteen in his name ...he never got a penny for all his servings. ..gave company for few drinks regularly. ..those days I had a difficult time as my father  had then passed away . .had repeated chest pains and kanagu would take me to surya hospital and had all cardiac workups done ..he never winced once for all his help...

He was his usual self in PG days...he had an uncanny knack of making friends and moving at ease with strangers and going to grassroot levels with the patients which made him a successful practioner, stood in good stead during his PG days also. ..

His popularity in his town was evident when he spearheaded his sister's marriage ...there was a huge crowd and we nearly got lost in the stampede like situation ...He had such a clout in his area that people thronged his sister's marriage like a cultural mela. ..but his marriage in pavizham mahal in erode was a damp squib. ..a huge hall with a very sparse crowd. ..having been a witness to the both occasions, I felt that way. ..

we both passed anaesthesia and both of us were posted in nagapatinam district. ..we had a great time with our junior siddarth in karaikal. ..there too I had severe chest pain in the midnight and  kanagu took me to cardiologists and again cardiac workup was done. ..

we were called for transfer counselling ..there was only one vacancy in erode district and the next nearer was thiruppur GH. .I used to call him only as mapillai. .dei mapillai ..would you mind me joining erode district ?I don't know what was going through his mind then. ..he was senior to me in service. ..he didn't say anything. ..when his chance came, he took thiruppur GH letting me to join erode district ...It was a magnanimous thing which changed my life forever and also his. ..I have a bizarre feeling often. ..had I not yearned for erode district, and had he not opted for thiruppur., would he be saved?

I advised him to go for chennai. ..I told him that family life is more important than personal carrer.  Another lingering thought scrolling through my mind ...he hardly lived with his wife for a reasonable time ...soon after his marriage, he got PG  while sivagami was working in PHC. ..when he finished MD, sivagami got PG in chennai and he was posted in thiruppur. ..I told him to go to chennai and be with your wife...but he decided to stay back in thiruppur and started practising. ..Three years went  in a hurry with kanagu scampering for cases and sivagami was busy with her studies. ..
those days kanagu single handedly reared his elder daughter and was a great influence on her..

Meanwhile we both started practising ...we became busy in one year's time. ..happy and content with our practice. ..had regularly talked .discussed cases snd swigged and enjoyed. .he used to frequent monthly ...I made him join erode anaesthetist association and that helped us to have regular boozing sessions...A week before that dastardly accident on February 20,2010, he came to erode for a rendezvous with friends. He seemed to have been very busy and hardly slept the previous night snd one round of vodka made him dead flat snd he slept on the table itself. ..we literally pulled him to our car and dropped him in his inlaws house. ..I talked to him the previous night of February 20th and that was my last verbal contact with kanagu. ..

Our relationship grew into next generation with gowtham and deepthi becoming classmates since 2011..they go for hindi and IIT classes together and they have an excellent rapport. ..I wish this to continue for ever and ever. .but what the future holds for us is uncertain. ..Once deepthi becomes big, the social taboos and restrictions may not allow us to go near them as frequently as we do now...come whenever situation may, I have been harping on the famous adages. ..

..Blame the situations, not the people. ..

..All good things have come to end one day. ..
In the meantime , sivagami finished the course and she got posted in kunnathur which was one hour travel from thiruppur. ..after a long and tumultuous time, with much hardship she got her postings in thiruppur GH itself...All seemed to have worked well at last for kanagu and his family..he got all his calculations correct after a long and tumultuous journey in his life...
he got his act together and set a clinic for sivagami and got the basic anaesthetic equipments for minor cases...and so as the fairytale goes...going to live happily forever, came that dastardly accident  on February 20,2010. ..the most unforgettable day .....

sweet remembrances. ..

buddha ...just read your blog..my mind was searching who could  be that girl. .
.how  could you have shelved those wonderful moments within your self without sharing. .who was she? Was it that girl? no ...not possible. ..before coming to the fag end of the story , innumerable thoughts inundated my mind...but buddha. ..kalla varitheya buddha...its like a failed atom bomb...

I would like to share some of the wonderful moments of my college ragging period. ..but it's again with a group of girls. ..wonderful beautiful and exhilarating all go in tandem when you are in the midst of girls. ..but it's not a concocted story as buddhan ...a real story to be unfurled. ..

A group of five senior girls who always go hand in hand would call on me during the dissection break...every flower has its unique distinct fragrance and so the five gangsters. they liked to tease me ..it is a  different kind of feeling being ragged by a group of cute girls.(all girls  looked  petty fine in my eyes in that age)after that horrendous ragging in the hostel, the feminine soft part of ragging in the college does suit my mentality... I too liked their presence. ..when there were so many male students around you, and you were the only one who was called  for, it itself gave me a sense of wellbeing,happiness and mental satisfaction in being recognised as a male...
some of my friends would ridicule me when I go and stand before them...why are you  going? try to be rigid and don't respond to their queries and so on...but I continued to be with them and it was a pleasant feeling throughout that period...
A senior boy was in love with one of the five girls..he would come and ask me...what did she ask? what were you talking and so on...she was the quiet and least talkative of the five girls..thank god.... that pretty girl escaped from the clutches of that crook....those early college life period is the most vulnerable  period  in one's life...a small spark here and that would grow into a  fire that could not be doused by any amount of water you pour..although I came from a coeducated school, I never talked to a girl...it was like a taboo talking to girls in school days then..so there was fire inside my belly to make up for the hitherto missed events...I tried to capitalise on whatever is for me...but there was no one to spark that fire inside me and I escaped. ...

During school days itself I hooked on to a girl...she was in pure science and I wa in maths group...she was residing not too far from my residence. .so whenever I happened to go out for some chores, I made it as a routine to cross her house  until one day when I saw her coming out of her home with her dad who was in police uniform...that was the last day I took to that road...thereafter it was the second acquaintance with  our college senior girls for me and I didn't want to lose it...but all good things have to come to an end one day and It did come so early for me....when the next batch came and we became seniors and they kept distance from me with the occasional smile. ..

therafter it was nothing but prolonged dry spells  with occasional oasis seen then and there ...

Travails and ecstasies of my golden period in GMKMC

I thank murali and buddhan for kindling the fire inside me to write and share the finest moments with you all in GMKMC....

First of all I thank my father who was an inspiration and confidence personified in bringing the best out of me. ..

I was neither brilliant nor exemplary in gaining entry into medical college by first attempt. I missed the medical seat by a whisker and that catapulted me to the veterinary college. ..but my father was damn sure that I would become a MBBS doctor one day and he pursued his ambition by filing a csse in the court...meanwhile I cherished the dream of IAS officer and wrote an essay in CSR book. I got the last consolation prize and it invigorates my ambition of collector not knowing the real credentials of my capability....neither was I aware of the CSR credentials. ..I improvised on every attempt and wrote essays month after month only to be snubbed by the editors. ..then I realised that it was an attempt by the magazine to make me subscribe their book for one year...and the prize was not for my insight about that topic......I am now writing after that maiden failure...

Meanwhile, my father won the case and I was asked to join  GMKMC after nearly eight months...I decided to join with heavy heart as my dreams of collector being washed away thinking that it would be served on a platter...I realised i was wrong when many of my friends failed to clear even the main paper...

I came with my father to join in GMKMC. ..I went to the then ponne super market (now GMKMC) and I saw a brash rustic youth standing in one leg and the other leg bent snd stamped on the wall near the administrative office in the first floor .I introduced myself and he said, "I am buddhan"with a grin..and it started there and one by one the gang of 10 formed...we were left in the lurch...as our senior batch was about to appear for exams and our junior batch (dei pasangala neenga ellam engaluku juniorthan) is yet to join...we were in "thirisongu sorgum"...At last the Government decided to merge us with the next batch (athu than 1991 batch)...and the real story begins with lot of fun fare. ..

Initial days passed with customary smile , handshakes and introductions. ..Ragging was very severe harsh and intolerable and a it was buddhan  and nsveen who bore the brunt of attack. ..but it all eased with the  arrival of the new friends. ...

First year hostel at chattiram was really a beautiful period. ..set aside the ragging part, it was where we really made friends. ..danced. played cricket, watched videos throughout the night,chatted incoherently.,smoked cigars and swigged alcohol...the unforgettable thing is standing in the queue for idly and chicken in sunday morning...chinnas ran around the hostel in a daredevilry act...venki music system...late night cards and oosi puffs....

Coming to first year, our dissection hall batch is a dull boring insipid one with a bunch of introverts extroverts and uninspiring personalities. like me.. ..whereas the batch next to us (admin balaji) has lot of interesting personalities with plenty of stories going around...which will be described in detail by karthi or jayendran when their turn comes....one thing I can never forget is when sheila called on me and shouted. ..don't you ever tuck in your shirt? If you come like this, l would ask one of our girls to tuck in your pants  ....mind it? but l was hoping against hope that it might occur one day. ..but both the God and sheela forgot that event thereafter. ..and it didn't happen throughout that one and half years. ..

Another mesmerising event for me...we used to come to college by bus and I always travel in the footboard of the bus...one fine morning, when I was standing in the footboard, my bus overtook an auto  in which three pretty chunky girls were sitting. ..and as usual I was staring at them when two  of them started wavering their hands towards me in jubilation. ..I was stunned and before I could touch the earth and waver my hands, my bus was gone...thereafter I started to cement my place in footboard ignoring the sarcastic remarks of conductor to again have that same feeling. ..but it didn't happen there after...

I was called a "oosi puffer"those days...I never bought a cigarette during my first year...but I used to have one or two puffs from my friends. .It was the night before anatomy part 2 exam..I and buddhan decided to have a cup of tea at midnight. ..we have to cross railway track to have a cup of tea..there the railings would be in succession. ..there would be a small opening to gain entry into the other side of the road...we slithered through that small opening..had tea and i smoked one full  cigarette for the first time..it got into  my head and I started swaying.....on our back to hostel I couldn't slither through that small opening. ..planting my head into railings and buddhan pulled me through that opening  and into the hostel. ..unforgettable moment for me...
Towards the fag end of our first year, we all went for our first meet at ooty..that early morning NMR track from mettupalayam to ooty was all fun and frolic...I and siva followed a group of cute college girls who were seated in the next coach. ..that train usually halts for a few minutes after every 100 mts...we two go for a stroll towards that compartment , had a glance at them , come back...fully energised. ...that was a typical "rail snegam"...In the evening it was our typical style...went for a bar in that cool snd chilly climate and nipped a few drink and was so elated....After a few drink, I usually go over the moon, so was shankar,and the rest of the guys advised me not to open the mouth once I enter the bus...I diligently said yes...and once I entered the bus everyone was cuddling me into the backseat and advising me to keep my voice mumbled...I stood and screamed loudily "buddha eeri pochuda" to break that eerie silence..so swift was my friends reaction that I was forcibly laid back and my mouth wss shut with their hands...I tried to open my mouth when they tried to rrlax their vice like grip...and it went on throughout that journey. ..
Finally..a food for thought...I really wonder how murali karthi guns and all started to this culture so late. ..we started early and karthi used to advise a lot...eenda kutikureenga...and he seemed to be a man of principles. ..what has gone into his mind after that susceptible period?

Almost for all of us, we were first time doctors in their respected families. ..most of our parents are teachers. ..and almost all of us were from tee totaller family...we were all under strong parental control and discipline snd education were the only priority. ... for all of us alcohol and cigarette were forbidden words...when we were set free into this world without any parental pressure and was roaming scot free , we searched for something new....
and wanted to taste those forbidden things. ..
But , now, what are we going to teach our children? Is alcohol bad? How can we say that to our kids? Almost all kids seems to know...my son knows about me and so is all of our friends. ..Even in a family where parents don't drink , their friends families would be used to it...so we can't force them to accept alcoholism is bad...but  nowadays our kids are oversmart and they would themselves decide which one is good or bad for us...

one of my friends wife is very strict...he usually goes for a spin without her consent  and  was caught red handed so many times...there the skirmish would begin between them..their son would advice his mom...why are you scolding dad?he has been going for cases day in day out   untiringly...let him relax for a day...what is wrong in it? such kind of maturity our present generation children possess...they all knew that alcohol is not bad,  but alcoholism is .....
we are here to enlighten our children about so many evils encircling us like terroism fraud corruption  addiction to internet with Facebook whatsapp and gaming...when my child opens internet I am fraught with so much  of fear. ..what would he see in my presence ..in my absence. ..we need to have child lock and so on to procrastinate the evils of internet...one day they all will be exposed to those things..let us all try to delay and let they enjoy the childhood dreams till then...In our childhood days there was not much TV no internet and we all played only outdoors..our parents would scream""pozhuthanaikum velliayalaya vizhayathitu irukon"...but now our children are preoccupied with internet Cable TV snd gaming consoles...now we scream ""pozhuthanaikum netla irukkan"....we literally push them to play outdoors to play with their friends only to find the empty roads as all kids were engrossed with TV and internet...

I stop here...when murali asked me to write, so many things inundated my mind...flurry of events flooded my thought...that I can even write a short book ...but I don't want all of you to push into boredom. ..I stop here...

I request karthi or suresh to take over from here...sorry if I bored you so much...

Happy pongal...

spend time with your children. ..not with TV internet and whatsapp and facebook....

thank you all...